Tonight I posted a goodbye to the Cill on TC, which I’ve been a part of for just over 5 years now.
It hurt a lot more than I expected it would. But, TC has become a hostile place to me and my social justice concerns. So much of my work with Brighid involves social justice. It didn’t feel right to continue keeping flame in a Cill that was based in a place so toxic to me.
(The Cill itself is full of lovely people with whom I’ve found some wonderful friendships and community, and many of them are concerned with social justice issues too. However, the board in general where the Cill makes its home is still toxic to me and to social justice, and I couldn’t find a way to reconcile these things.)
I struggled with the decision for several days, and eventually it became clear that leaving is the best thing for me. And I felt a strong surge of agreement from Brighid.
Right now, I don’t know what comes next. I’ve kept the flame for 5 years now (more or less; I’m not perfect about keeping shifts because I’m human) and I’m no longer in a Cill. I do know that I don’t want to join another Cill, at least not yet.
I will likely continue to keep the flame on certain nights, such as holidays, or when I feel the need. I don’t know what else I’ll be doing. The face of my worship and Work is changing.
It’s a little scary, but it’s time.